literally same
(Source: swag-ilious)
Fumbling with her fingers, Kelsey fought with herself to reach the phone. She needed to call Camden. She needed him to calm her down, because right now she didn’t feel like she could breathe. Frantically, she glanced back towards the school as her legs pushed her as fast as she could manage away from the building behind her. Her body was aching, bruises forming along her limbs in scattered patterns. She could still feel their hands on her, gripping unbearably hard, holding her in place while the head of their gruesome pack dragged her fingernails across her skin. She could feel the burning of the cool air against the scratches, though she didn’t think they bled all that much. She remembered the elbow to her face, and the pain that spread across her scalp as Alissa— was that her name?— pulled at her hair. She remembered being thrown onto the floor, her shoulder screaming with searing pain on contact with the ground, and the kick to her spine, and finally their laughter as they walked away. She couldn’t have fought back. They wouldn’t let her. There were too many. And to think, this had all came from a stupid argument she thought she’d won. Kelsey remembered now why she didn’t like to speak to people. Camden was the only exception. With the device pulled to her ear, Kelsey waited until the ringing stopped until she spoke, her voice as broken as her body felt. “Cam?”
Camden was very tired. He’d spent his whole day going through school, his first day back since his vacation in New York, had been pushed around by his friends who weren’t really his friends at all and fell asleep during three of his classes, only to be awoken with some sort of teacher reprimanding him, or some student trying to make fun of him. Two lectures and a terribly loud lunch period later, he was now sitting on the ground outside of the detention hall, purely because his little brother was currently incarcerated and it was up to him to take him home. This was honestly the last thing he needed. It only got worse when his phone started to vibrate violently from his pocket and he had to push himself up a little to check who it was. Most of the time, he didn’t answer but always made sure to check, just in case it was the one person he cared about. Seeing her name, he pressed the answer button, was about to say ‘hello’ but instead heard a jagged and broken breath on the other side uttering his name. Instantly filled with concern, he sat up a little bit straighter. “Kelsey? Kelsey, what’s wrong?”
Hearing his voices only made it harder to breathe, but she kept moving. She had to get away from here. Far away from everyone in that stupid school. She didn’t know what to tell him, because everything felt wrong. Her whole body was aching, and she was terrified that they would come back and hurt her more. Everything was wrong, but she didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t want to tell him anything at all. All she wanted to do was curl up next to him until she felt safe again, but she couldn’t. He couldn’t even see her now. “I need you.” She said, or rather sobbed, tears blurring her vision. She cut around a corner and kept moving. Home, she had to get home. If she couldn’t go to him she’d go home.
There had always been and always would be one major problem with Kelsey and Camden’s relationship and that was the fact that he was always so very far away from her. It was the fact that he couldn’t look her in the eye right now and ask what was wrong, but instead just pull his knees to his chest and question her on the phone as much as he could. “I’m… I’m as close as I can be right now. Tell me what’s wrong, Kelsey. Please.” His pleas were very soft in response to the sound of her sobs, breaking through the line. There was something very wrong right now and he wasn’t sure how to handle that. Then again, yes he did. He would do what he always did because there was nothing else that he could do. He’d talk to her, talk her out of whatever he could and try to get her to calm down, once he knew the problem. That was the first step and half the time, it was also the hardest.
“They cornered me.” She explained through a strangled breathe, though she was sure she wasn’t making any sense right now. She just didn’t know how to tell him. She didn’t want to say it. “In-In the hallway. And took me out back. They held me down, and then they-” She broke again, violent sobs ripping through her as she rubbed at her already red eyes, trying her best to find her way home, looking around to make sure she was on the right path. Amanda usually drove her, but she didn’t want to wait for her today. She didn’t want to talk to anyone but Camden, though she was sure she would have to face Amanda soon enough. “They beat me up.” She said simply, not wanting to go in to detail, though the images were fresh in her mind, the sting of every slap and the pain of every kick still perfectly preserved in her memory.
Camden got very quiet for a moment, his hand still holding the phone to his ear and his breathing growing harder. He knew what it felt like. Being the new kid so often, he had ended up in some cruel schools and had his fair share of being thrown into lockers, took a first or two to the face. But that was way in the past, when Camden was in the seventh grade, maybe, and perhaps even when he was a child but never now, when he was seventeen. “Kelsey, calm down,” he instructed, though his voice was quiet and weak while he spoke. Mental images were hitting him like a hurricane and he set a hand over his eyes as he thought about it. “Take a breath and calm down, for me, please. Crying won’t solve anything.” He only told her that because the sound of her sobs was bothering him too much.
Kelsey knew very well that her tears weren’t going to solve anything, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t stop moving either. She was too scared, still afraid the girls would appear around the next corner, though she’d left the school far behind now. She wanted to get home. She had to get home. But still, she tried, she sucked in a deep breath and then let it out, though it was only followed by another sob. “I know.” She said through her tears, rubbing at the one eye that didn’t feel sore from the elbow to her face, she realized she’d come up on her street. She was almost home. “I can’t stop.” She admitted, her body shuddering as she tried to breathe through the tears.
“I know you can’t,” he muttered, his voice hardly above a whisper as he spoke. The hallway was nearly silent at this point, especially considering that the classroom he was sitting outside of was quiet with those who were being reprimanded. There was no talking in detention and there was no escape, even for him. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned his head against the back wall, exhaling softly. “Are you alright, Kelsey? I mean, you’re not too hurt or anything, are you?” Of course, he meant that physically because she was obviously very hurt about what had been done to her. But he felt the need to make sure that she hadn’t twisted anything or they hadn’t done any actual damage other than bruises and scars. Cam bit his lip, knowing that he couldn’t do very much from here.
”I don’t know,” She said, and then paused. For a moment, Kelsey slowed her pace and took inventory of all her injuries, cataloging her bruises and aches in her mind, nothing seemed too bad until she reached for her face. There were four long lines in her skin with the top layer of skin peeling back from where she’d been scratched, and her other eye felt a bit sore, but she didn’t think very much of it, she could still see, so it was okay. Then there was the blood. She could feel it now, starting to dry on her upper lip and cheeks. Her nose must have started bleeding when she got elbowed in the face. Tentatively, she reached for her nose, and though it hurt terribly even though her prodding was gentle, she could breathe out of it, so she passed it off as fine. “My nose might be broken.” She muttered into the phone and reaching up to dab it with her long sleeves. When she pulled her hand away, there was fresh blood. “It’s bleeding a lot.” Thankfully though, she was almost home, her feet pulling her up the walkway as fast as she could manage.
In the silence that remained as she took inventory of each of her injuries, Camden leaned his head back against the wall and let his mind wander in a bout of resent and anger. He was not there. He was her boyfriend, he cared about her more strongly than anyone else yet he was not there to be with her and to comfort her and to take her to the hospital for her nose. He was not there to drive her and hold her hand, or hug her and make sure that she didn’t cry anymore because she would be safe and with him. Camden could do none of those things, that he knew. There had not be a single instance in his life in which Camden felt so impeccably powerless and in the silence, he found his heart growing heavier and him feeling sicker from that fact alone. He set his hand on his forehead and let out a heavy sigh as he waited. Upon hearing what she believed was going on, Camden nodded his head and tried to do whatever he could for her from that far away. “I want you to go to the hospital, Kelsey. Please.”
Kelsey wanted him there, she wanted him to look at her bruises and scratches and cuts and tell her she was fine. She needed him to be here so that he could make her feel safe, because at the moment she didn’t feel the least bit safe, and well, she couldn’t stop crying. Though it was now partly because she was beginning to realize how unfortunate this relationship was. How she’d never be able to have him when she needed him, or vice versa. How even now that they’d found someone to call their own, they still felt completely alone. Still without the soft kisses and the warm hugs that everyone else got to share. Everyone but Camden and Kelsey.
The thought made her sobs start to pick up once more, because right now, she didn’t want a doctor, she didn’t want medicine or anything like that. All she wanted was for Camden to be here and to hold her, kiss her and make everything better. But it wouldn’t happen. All she had was his voice on her phone and the new warmth of her house once she got the spare key from under the welcome mat. Pushing the door open, she shook her head, before quickly realizing that he couldn’t see her, and chocking out a soft. “No.” Her body was trembling and her nose hurt when she inhaled and all she wanted was her boyfriend to be with her, but she couldn’t even have that. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do anything. I just wanna go to bed and stay there forever.” She said, tears clear in her voice.
The last time that Camden had been in love (or so he had thought. Lately he had began to question whether or not such feelings held the same potential as the ones he had for Kelsey. Monica was different, different and innocent, both of them sort of a joke in their relationship but happy as they were nonetheless), everything had been easy. They shared classes, she was constantly at his side and he never had to worry about protecting her because there wasn’t anything to protect her from. He could just kiss her with a velvet touch and the two would enjoy a blissful innocence without thoughts of distance. Of course, that caught up with him and his old girlfriend as well, though for Camden and Kelsey, that problem was always there. He would have to listen to her sobs on her side of the line and hope that she would decide to do what he told her. “Please,” he pleaded, him closing his eyes and setting a hand upon his forehead. The soft shuffle of feet in the classroom had faded from his mind and all he could hear was Kelsey Kelsey Kelsey Kelsey.
“I don’t want you to make it worse than it already is. It’s alright, Kelsey. Everything will be alright but I need you to go to the hospital if your nose is broken.” He knew he was asking for something that he didn’t deserve from her. If he couldn’t be there for her, he shouldn’t expect for her to do a single thing for him, yet he still hoped she would. It would be a relief, if nothing else, to know she would be alright and he’d apologize for not being there because it would be all he could manage. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t either of their faults that they had fallen for someone a couple hundred miles away. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, and it was the kind of thing that they didn’t deserve but had to be thankful for. His breath was heightened as he slid his hands over his hair nervously.
No, no one deserved this kind of pain, but it seemed that today the world was against the small Asian girl, and today all she would receive was pain. The only comfort there would be was Camden’s voice, though they both knew it wasn’t enough. She needed to be held, to be kissed. To be taken to the hospital because she knew she wasn’t going on her own. She didn’t want to leave the house again. She could manage the pain, it would subside with a few doses of Panadol and she could take a nap until Camden was home. Then they could talk, and she could pretend nothing else existed but them. Because when she talked to Camden, it didn’t matter what was outside the window or what kind of tests she had tomorrow, all that mattered was his blue eyes, and the smile that she tried to make sure was nearly always present on his lips.
Unfortunately, neither of them was smiling at the moment, in fact, Kelsey was doing nearly the exact opposition, tears pooling from her eyes as she hurried up the stairs and up in to her room. “No. It’s not okay.” She said, no doubt in her voice at all. “Nothing is okay, because you’re not here.” She knew it wasn’t right to blame him for this, because he couldn’t help it if he lived far away, but in that moment, with joints aching and bruised forming along her skin, she was just angry and upset and well, she was saying things she didn’t really mean. Hopefully he wouldn’t take it too personally. ”You’re not here and everything hurts and I hate life so much, okay?”
“Kelsey,” Camden managed, his voice almost chastising as though he were trying to will her to stop speaking about that and take care of herself because he couldn’t help her. He wanted her to stop talking about how he was so far away because he knew he was and he also knew that he really just couldn’t help it. He couldn’t hop into his car and drive into New York, because while he had the resources to do it, it just wasn’t plausible to pick up and leave. A part of him felt like he should, though. A part of him was itching to pick himself up from the cold tile floor and get into his car, with or without his little brother and go take care of her. She deserved it, he knew that she did but whether or not it was okay that he did that was definitely against him. There was no getting up to go help your girlfriend. Not when she was that far away.
Camden struggled to his feet, though that would make a difference and leaned against the wall instead, his eyes closed. “I know you do. I do too, Kelsey. But you can’t…” A shaky sigh passed his lips. “You can’t worry about that. If you do, it’ll drive you mad.” Camden tried to pocket those words, knowing that there would come a time that he needed to follow his own words. Chances were that he wouldn’t. “You have to take things as they come but please, Kelsey, do what I say.”
If only it was that easy. If only she could just close her eye and then open them and feel okay, but they both knew that wasn’t going to happen. Especially not when the terror and the pain were still so fresh inside her. Like a gaping wound, she hadn’t even began healing. All she could think of was how she hated school, how she hated New York for being so far away from Camden, or Camden for being so far away from New York. Either way, it didn’t matter. She was angry, and she was upset, and she certainly wasn’t in the mood to be following anyone’s orders. With a soft grunt, Kelsey pushed off her shoes and leaned over her bed, pushing her laptop to the far end of it, knowing that there was no use in logging on, Camden was too far away from his computer to even video chat. Everything about them was too far away.
Without very much care in her touch, Kelsey forced the blankets down on her bed, and crawled beneath them, burying her sorrows, and herself in the warm cave she’d created. She liked it in here. You couldn’t hear anything but her breathing, and everything she felt for was soft and warm, and nothing in here was trying to hurt her. “No.” She said simply, rubbing at her eyes, though it stung quite a bit from the bruise that was surely forming. “I won’t die because of a stupid broken nose, Camden.” Her voice was bitter and she spit his name like it was a curse word, because, at the moment, she felt like this was just as much his fault, because he wasn’t here. Though, she was just as much at fault. She was the one who agreed to this whole long distance thing. “I don’t want to go to the fucking doctor, okay?” And there went her anger, straight out the window as her voice began to crack once again.
Camden had proven time and time again that he had very lose control of his anger when it was with the wrong person. Nearly everyday, he found himself getting into an argument with either his father or Gillian, not bothering with so much as a censor on his words because frankly, he didn’t care. He would yell when he was pissed off, offended, hurt, it didn’t matter. But Camden acted differently around Kelsey than he did with everyone else because he didn’t come close to raising his voice, not even when the words she said hurt. He understood. She was frustrated, upset, angry and scared and Camden had no right to try and tell her to abandon everything that he had done with and for her just because she wouldn’t follow his orders. He gave in. “Alright, Kelsey. You’re right, you won’t die. I should stop worrying.” Thankfully, when he had the right mind, he knew how to act around people. Growing up with his father who’s job depended solely on whether or not he could interact with people and get them to sway his way, he could do just the same.
“Would you feel better if you went to bed?” He knew exactly where she had went. Not because he heard the rustle of the blankets or her head hitting the pillow with a soft thump. It was not because he could imagine herself curling up into her blanket as he heard the soft sounds, like leaves in the wind, but instead because he knew her. He knew Kelsey and she always went to the same place for comfort—her blankets. “Would you rather take a nap and I’ll talk to you when you wake up?” Hearing the shuffle of feet inside the classroom, he pushed himself up from the wall and was flushed with a bit more urgency. He’d be driving his stepbrother home soon and while he knew he shouldn’t be pushing her away at a time like this, it was true that she needed to go. He didn’t say that, of course.
19 notes
kelsey doesn’t think my face is amazing
it just isn’t.
YES IT IS I’M SURE OF IT look at me tho
2 noteskelsey doesn’t think my face is amazing
cumden and kelsemen.
ok
0 notes
Fumbling with her fingers, Kelsey fought with herself to reach the phone. She needed to call Camden. She needed him to calm her down, because right now she didn’t feel like she could breathe. Frantically, she glanced back towards the school as her legs pushed her as fast as she could manage away from the building behind her. Her body was aching, bruises forming along her limbs in scattered patterns. She could still feel their hands on her, gripping unbearably hard, holding her in place while the head of their gruesome pack dragged her fingernails across her skin. She could feel the burning of the cool air against the scratches, though she didn’t think they bled all that much. She remembered the elbow to her face, and the pain that spread across her scalp as Alissa— was that her name?— pulled at her hair. She remembered being thrown onto the floor, her shoulder screaming with searing pain on contact with the ground, and the kick to her spine, and finally their laughter as they walked away. She couldn’t have fought back. They wouldn’t let her. There were too many. And to think, this had all came from a stupid argument she thought she’d won. Kelsey remembered now why she didn’t like to speak to people. Camden was the only exception. With the device pulled to her ear, Kelsey waited until the ringing stopped until she spoke, her voice as broken as her body felt. “Cam?”
Camden was very tired. He’d spent his whole day going through school, his first day back since his vacation in New York, had been pushed around by his friends who weren’t really his friends at all and fell asleep during three of his classes, only to be awoken with some sort of teacher reprimanding him, or some student trying to make fun of him. Two lectures and a terribly loud lunch period later, he was now sitting on the ground outside of the detention hall, purely because his little brother was currently incarcerated and it was up to him to take him home. This was honestly the last thing he needed. It only got worse when his phone started to vibrate violently from his pocket and he had to push himself up a little to check who it was. Most of the time, he didn’t answer but always made sure to check, just in case it was the one person he cared about. Seeing her name, he pressed the answer button, was about to say ‘hello’ but instead heard a jagged and broken breath on the other side uttering his name. Instantly filled with concern, he sat up a little bit straighter. “Kelsey? Kelsey, what’s wrong?”
Hearing his voices only made it harder to breathe, but she kept moving. She had to get away from here. Far away from everyone in that stupid school. She didn’t know what to tell him, because everything felt wrong. Her whole body was aching, and she was terrified that they would come back and hurt her more. Everything was wrong, but she didn’t want to tell him that she didn’t want to tell him anything at all. All she wanted to do was curl up next to him until she felt safe again, but she couldn’t. He couldn’t even see her now. “I need you.” She said, or rather sobbed, tears blurring her vision. She cut around a corner and kept moving. Home, she had to get home. If she couldn’t go to him she’d go home.
There had always been and always would be one major problem with Kelsey and Camden’s relationship and that was the fact that he was always so very far away from her. It was the fact that he couldn’t look her in the eye right now and ask what was wrong, but instead just pull his knees to his chest and question her on the phone as much as he could. “I’m… I’m as close as I can be right now. Tell me what’s wrong, Kelsey. Please.” His pleas were very soft in response to the sound of her sobs, breaking through the line. There was something very wrong right now and he wasn’t sure how to handle that. Then again, yes he did. He would do what he always did because there was nothing else that he could do. He’d talk to her, talk her out of whatever he could and try to get her to calm down, once he knew the problem. That was the first step and half the time, it was also the hardest.
“They cornered me.” She explained through a strangled breathe, though she was sure she wasn’t making any sense right now. She just didn’t know how to tell him. She didn’t want to say it. “In-In the hallway. And took me out back. They held me down, and then they-” She broke again, violent sobs ripping through her as she rubbed at her already red eyes, trying her best to find her way home, looking around to make sure she was on the right path. Amanda usually drove her, but she didn’t want to wait for her today. She didn’t want to talk to anyone but Camden, though she was sure she would have to face Amanda soon enough. “They beat me up.” She said simply, not wanting to go in to detail, though the images were fresh in her mind, the sting of every slap and the pain of every kick still perfectly preserved in her memory.
Camden got very quiet for a moment, his hand still holding the phone to his ear and his breathing growing harder. He knew what it felt like. Being the new kid so often, he had ended up in some cruel schools and had his fair share of being thrown into lockers, took a first or two to the face. But that was way in the past, when Camden was in the seventh grade, maybe, and perhaps even when he was a child but never now, when he was seventeen. “Kelsey, calm down,” he instructed, though his voice was quiet and weak while he spoke. Mental images were hitting him like a hurricane and he set a hand over his eyes as he thought about it. “Take a breath and calm down, for me, please. Crying won’t solve anything.” He only told her that because the sound of her sobs was bothering him too much.
Kelsey knew very well that her tears weren’t going to solve anything, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t stop moving either. She was too scared, still afraid the girls would appear around the next corner, though she’d left the school far behind now. She wanted to get home. She had to get home. But still, she tried, she sucked in a deep breath and then let it out, though it was only followed by another sob. “I know.” She said through her tears, rubbing at the one eye that didn’t feel sore from the elbow to her face, she realized she’d come up on her street. She was almost home. “I can’t stop.” She admitted, her body shuddering as she tried to breathe through the tears.
“I know you can’t,” he muttered, his voice hardly above a whisper as he spoke. The hallway was nearly silent at this point, especially considering that the classroom he was sitting outside of was quiet with those who were being reprimanded. There was no talking in detention and there was no escape, even for him. Running a hand through his hair, he leaned his head against the back wall, exhaling softly. “Are you alright, Kelsey? I mean, you’re not too hurt or anything, are you?” Of course, he meant that physically because she was obviously very hurt about what had been done to her. But he felt the need to make sure that she hadn’t twisted anything or they hadn’t done any actual damage other than bruises and scars. Cam bit his lip, knowing that he couldn’t do very much from here.
”I don’t know,” She said, and then paused. For a moment, Kelsey slowed her pace and took inventory of all her injuries, cataloging her bruises and aches in her mind, nothing seemed too bad until she reached for her face. There were four long lines in her skin with the top layer of skin peeling back from where she’d been scratched, and her other eye felt a bit sore, but she didn’t think very much of it, she could still see, so it was okay. Then there was the blood. She could feel it now, starting to dry on her upper lip and cheeks. Her nose must have started bleeding when she got elbowed in the face. Tentatively, she reached for her nose, and though it hurt terribly even though her prodding was gentle, she could breathe out of it, so she passed it off as fine. “My nose might be broken.” She muttered into the phone and reaching up to dab it with her long sleeves. When she pulled her hand away, there was fresh blood. “It’s bleeding a lot.” Thankfully though, she was almost home, her feet pulling her up the walkway as fast as she could manage.
In the silence that remained as she took inventory of each of her injuries, Camden leaned his head back against the wall and let his mind wander in a bout of resent and anger. He was not there. He was her boyfriend, he cared about her more strongly than anyone else yet he was not there to be with her and to comfort her and to take her to the hospital for her nose. He was not there to drive her and hold her hand, or hug her and make sure that she didn’t cry anymore because she would be safe and with him. Camden could do none of those things, that he knew. There had not be a single instance in his life in which Camden felt so impeccably powerless and in the silence, he found his heart growing heavier and him feeling sicker from that fact alone. He set his hand on his forehead and let out a heavy sigh as he waited. Upon hearing what she believed was going on, Camden nodded his head and tried to do whatever he could for her from that far away. “I want you to go to the hospital, Kelsey. Please.”
Kelsey wanted him there, she wanted him to look at her bruises and scratches and cuts and tell her she was fine. She needed him to be here so that he could make her feel safe, because at the moment she didn’t feel the least bit safe, and well, she couldn’t stop crying. Though it was now partly because she was beginning to realize how unfortunate this relationship was. How she’d never be able to have him when she needed him, or vice versa. How even now that they’d found someone to call their own, they still felt completely alone. Still without the soft kisses and the warm hugs that everyone else got to share. Everyone but Camden and Kelsey.
The thought made her sobs start to pick up once more, because right now, she didn’t want a doctor, she didn’t want medicine or anything like that. All she wanted was for Camden to be here and to hold her, kiss her and make everything better. But it wouldn’t happen. All she had was his voice on her phone and the new warmth of her house once she got the spare key from under the welcome mat. Pushing the door open, she shook her head, before quickly realizing that he couldn’t see her, and chocking out a soft. “No.” Her body was trembling and her nose hurt when she inhaled and all she wanted was her boyfriend to be with her, but she couldn’t even have that. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do anything. I just wanna go to bed and stay there forever.” She said, tears clear in her voice.
The last time that Camden had been in love (or so he had thought. Lately he had began to question whether or not such feelings held the same potential as the ones he had for Kelsey. Monica was different, different and innocent, both of them sort of a joke in their relationship but happy as they were nonetheless), everything had been easy. They shared classes, she was constantly at his side and he never had to worry about protecting her because there wasn’t anything to protect her from. He could just kiss her with a velvet touch and the two would enjoy a blissful innocence without thoughts of distance. Of course, that caught up with him and his old girlfriend as well, though for Camden and Kelsey, that problem was always there. He would have to listen to her sobs on her side of the line and hope that she would decide to do what he told her. “Please,” he pleaded, him closing his eyes and setting a hand upon his forehead. The soft shuffle of feet in the classroom had faded from his mind and all he could hear was Kelsey Kelsey Kelsey Kelsey.
“I don’t want you to make it worse than it already is. It’s alright, Kelsey. Everything will be alright but I need you to go to the hospital if your nose is broken.” He knew he was asking for something that he didn’t deserve from her. If he couldn’t be there for her, he shouldn’t expect for her to do a single thing for him, yet he still hoped she would. It would be a relief, if nothing else, to know she would be alright and he’d apologize for not being there because it would be all he could manage. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t either of their faults that they had fallen for someone a couple hundred miles away. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, and it was the kind of thing that they didn’t deserve but had to be thankful for. His breath was heightened as he slid his hands over his hair nervously.
No, no one deserved this kind of pain, but it seemed that today the world was against the small Asian girl, and today all she would receive was pain. The only comfort there would be was Camden’s voice, though they both knew it wasn’t enough. She needed to be held, to be kissed. To be taken to the hospital because she knew she wasn’t going on her own. She didn’t want to leave the house again. She could manage the pain, it would subside with a few doses of Panadol and she could take a nap until Camden was home. Then they could talk, and she could pretend nothing else existed but them. Because when she talked to Camden, it didn’t matter what was outside the window or what kind of tests she had tomorrow, all that mattered was his blue eyes, and the smile that she tried to make sure was nearly always present on his lips.
Unfortunately, neither of them was smiling at the moment, in fact, Kelsey was doing nearly the exact opposition, tears pooling from her eyes as she hurried up the stairs and up in to her room. “No. It’s not okay.” She said, no doubt in her voice at all. “Nothing is okay, because you’re not here.” She knew it wasn’t right to blame him for this, because he couldn’t help it if he lived far away, but in that moment, with joints aching and bruised forming along her skin, she was just angry and upset and well, she was saying things she didn’t really mean. Hopefully he wouldn’t take it too personally. ”You’re not here and everything hurts and I hate life so much, okay?”
“Kelsey,” Camden managed, his voice almost chastising as though he were trying to will her to stop speaking about that and take care of herself because he couldn’t help her. He wanted her to stop talking about how he was so far away because he knew he was and he also knew that he really just couldn’t help it. He couldn’t hop into his car and drive into New York, because while he had the resources to do it, it just wasn’t plausible to pick up and leave. A part of him felt like he should, though. A part of him was itching to pick himself up from the cold tile floor and get into his car, with or without his little brother and go take care of her. She deserved it, he knew that she did but whether or not it was okay that he did that was definitely against him. There was no getting up to go help your girlfriend. Not when she was that far away.
Camden struggled to his feet, though that would make a difference and leaned against the wall instead, his eyes closed. “I know you do. I do too, Kelsey. But you can’t…” A shaky sigh passed his lips. “You can’t worry about that. If you do, it’ll drive you mad.” Camden tried to pocket those words, knowing that there would come a time that he needed to follow his own words. Chances were that he wouldn’t. “You have to take things as they come but please, Kelsey, do what I say.”
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